Tag: happiness

Engaging in Negative Thinking?

Engaging in Negative Thinking?

Are you ever in the midst of an argument and wonder why you are even arguing? Is the argument even logical?

While there are some disagreements that deserve healthy debates, there are many others we encounter that are truly unacceptable. These arguments end in one, or both parties, being demoralized, hurt, or lied to. Some even end in physical violence.

How does Negative Thinking Affect Arguments?

Negative People are all around us, in fact, there are days even the most positive people become negative.

 

Scenario

Positive Person: Hi, Those boxes really look heavy and it’s icy out. Do you need some help carrying them?

Negative Person: What?? I’m fine!!

Positive Person: Ok, just checking. I didn’t want you to fall.

Negative Person: Do I look weak or something? I’m a lot stronger than you. I think I’ll be just fine. Mind your own business.

If the above scenario plays out between members of an unhealthy marriage something this simple can end in a drawn out, very verbal, and possible physical fight.

Negative thinking causes a person to feel attacked right away. The positive person sees nothing wrong with what they are asking and in no way thinks the other person is weak. They truly want to help because they know they personally would have wanted help if they were in that same situation. This is very important to understand, “they personally would have wanted help if they were in that same situation”.

This negative thinking can come from many places. Low self esteem, a recent loss in the family, a recent accident, etc. In that moment, if a person feels bad about themselves they easily misconstrue what others are saying to them.

Why are you truly arguing about? Is it reasonable?

Make sure you are not the negative person. If you feel frustration from someone asking a question step back and think. Is there a positive side to what they are asking? What are you feeling? Where are those feelings coming from?

If you regularly find yourself in these types of arguments understand that your reaction may be the cause. You are not a bad person, we all do it from time to time. Get help for what is causing you to feel so negative. Negative thinking is very unhealthy, both physically and mentality. It gets in the way of your life!

Are you encountering a negative thinking person? If so, understand where the feelings may be coming from and back off from the conversation. Don’t pursue it. You may have felt hurt by the response, but don’t fight back. Understand where the response came from and do not take it personally. Comments in these arguments are not often meant. It’s not easy to let it go, but it’s a lot easier than escalating the fight until it’s even more out of control.

You will find the world around you becomes more positive as you heal from the negative thoughts.

 

How Do You remove negative thoughts from your mind?

Stop Unhealthy Arguments. Pick your battles.

Peace!

How do you get rid of Holiday Depression? #Christmas #holiday

How do you get rid of Holiday Depression? #Christmas #holiday

This is such an exciting time of year… Ecstatic shoppers out and about with all their holiday cheer, laughing children, stars bright, Santa and his elves are giving out gifts, family gratefully enjoying time with one another!! WAIT…

santa

OK, that’s what we think is happening in everyone’s lives, but let’s be real. Yes, there are some awesome things about the holidays, but for many people it’s a very draining and emotionally depressing time. And believe me, all the above holiday cheer is often times lost just hours later or even faked by some.

Think about all the happy people you see in the mall as you shop for your holiday cheer. You notice them, right? Look around though, you’ll also notice many tired, stress out faces. You’ll find people arguing and fighting with their families.

The reason I point that out is because you choose what you pick out. We pick out the happy people and get depressed because we are not them. We dismiss that fact we may have just caught their one and only happy thought in the last 6 months.

Holidays are busy, which alone can be stressful. Holidays can remind us of past devastating experiences that occurred during the holidays, lost loves ones that we wish were here with us…

Because we pick out what we want to I’ve tried to make it my mission to pick out happy activities and then focus on the activity itself. Let in the smell of holiday spices, listen to the wonderful sounds of music, enjoy the creativity of the holiday artists, feel the crisp air… one mindfulness.

happy snowman

Then as I create my own happy place I tend to let others into my life more AND have learned to enjoy the holidays a bit more.

Keep yourself involved in holiday gatherings and festivities but also give yourself some personal space.

If you are happy you will spread happiness to others, if you are sad or angry you will spread this to others. As you become happier you’ll notice the people near you tap into your mood.

Remember others. Depression is real for so many people, let people in and help them to feel love this season.

Allow yourself to feel happiness. You are not alone in your struggles.

How do you get rid of depression around the holidays?

Autumn is HERE!! #autumn #fallcolors

Autumn is HERE!! #autumn #fallcolors

Don’t go inside yet, enjoy the autumn weather!!

autumn2

Fresh crisp autumn air, wonderful light breeze, and golden leaves! I love this time of year.

As the daylight hours start to shorten remember the importance of sunlight and it’s awesome power!

You may have to start bundling up soon but get outside, take in some deep breathes, stretch, take a walk, and enjoy!

This season always reminds me of corn mazes, visiting pumpkin patches, buying chili peppers, and going on some of the most peaceful and beautiful hikes ever!!

autumn 1

As winter comes, I personally get down pretty easily. I have found the quickest way to pull myself out of a negative mood is to get out of a dark room and find some sunshine. If it’s warm enough, open your windows and let in a fresh breeze. The winters where I live get pretty cold, but during the day I always have a couple of my window shades open to let in some daylight. When possible I bundle up and get outside!

Don’t let the colder seasons get you down, explore the beauty they bring!

What are some or your favorite autumn activities?

Explore!!!                       #vacation #fun #photography

Explore!!! #vacation #fun #photography

Have fun and find relaxation by exploring!

Ijams trail

I came upon this beautiful place last weekend.  I was out on my own looking for a short hike and stopped by Ijams Nature Center in Knoxville, TN.  I expected it to be an interesting little nature walk to help pass some time. I followed a gorgeous green path listening to the singing of the birds.

Ijams5

Little did I know I would come across this interesting and beautiful abandoned Limestone and Marble Quarry. It’s listed on the National Register for Historic Places.

You can even explore the area where the Lime Kilns at Mead’s used to reside.  The lime kilns would run at 1800 degrees Fahrenheit!

Ijams2

Look for hidden gems close to you, you’ll be surprised at what you come across!

Relax this weekend and find an interesting place explore!!

How to Overcome Fear #fear #motivation

How to Overcome Fear #fear #motivation

Don’t let fear rule your life. Don’t wait until it’s too late to understand how fear can hold you back and keep you from truly enjoying the world you live in.

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” –Judy Blume

You can take small steps to overcome fears. For example, if you are frightened of going to a new class (it may be at school, a new college, or even a knitting class or aerobic class) and interacting with all the new faces work to overcome this.

1-Choose a class you really like and sign up for it. Actively signing up for the class is a very important step to take.

2-Have a friend sign up with you until you are confident enough to attend on your own.

3-Each day, for several days before the class begins, visualize going into the class. Picture yourself as confident, holding your head high. Picture yourself feeling calm. Take time in these visualizations and really feel what you are picturing. If the classmate next to you says hello, visualize what you will say back. Practice your responses so they will fall freely from your mouth when the nervousness sets in. “Hi, have you ever had this teacher before?”, “Hi, have you ever tried kick boxing (if you are in a kickboxing class :D) before?”.

4-Have a good nights rest before the class.

5-Be a little early to the class.

6-Just before you enter the room find an alone place, in your car or on a bench near the building. Perform some breathing exercises.

7-Step into class.

8-Understand that others around you are also nervous. You are not alone!  That’s usually hard to understand, but trust in the fact that many people are more nervous than they appear.

9-Repeat the process again. Keep working at it until your fear resides. Remember this will take time. Continue to pick yourself up and try again.

You can do this same practice for walking through a dark parking lot, walking/running a 5K, whatever your fear may be.

If you fears are too large to overcome by yourself, see a professional that can help you walk through the steps to release your fears. Don’t hold back due to fear.

You cannot wait for the fear to go away on it’s own. Waiting will often create more fear. Visualize, breathe, and take action.

What has helped you overcome fears in the past?